The Allender Center Podcast

The Allender Center | Dr. Dan Allender
  • 4.7 (612)
  • CHRISTIANITY
  • UPDATED WEEKLY
The Allender Center Podcast

The Allender Center Podcast features Dr. Dan Allender and his team engaging topics on healing and restoration through the unique intersection of theology and psychology. Through questions submitted by listeners, stories, interviews, and conversations, we engage the deep places of heartache and hope that are rarely addressed so candidly in our culture today. Join us to gain refreshing insight into understanding your story, handling relational struggles, recovering from trauma and abuse, and more. The mission of The Allender Center is to help people tell their stories with awareness and integrity, and to train them to listen to the stories of others with care, artistry, and skill so that they may foster redemption and healing in their lives. The Allender Center is a pioneering organization committed to boldly engaging the impact of trauma and abuse, providing healing and teaching to individuals, couples, and communities, and training professionals to listen and enter into stories in a way that facilitates transformation and hope. For information on all our programs and live events, visit theallendercenter.org

  1. 3D AGO

    Revisiting “The Sex Talk You Never Got” with Sam Jolman

    Last year, we had a powerful conversation with author Sam Jolman about his book The Sex Talk You Never Got—one of our most-listened-to episodes of the year. Now, Sam returns to share more about the book’s impact and to dive deeper into its themes. This time, he and Dan explore the biblical story of Amnon and Tamar in 2 Samuel 13, a tragic account of lust, power, and sexual violence that resonates deeply with age-old struggles of the human heart. Sam unpacks how a man’s sexuality is shaped not only by personal choices but also by the unspoken legacies of family and culture. He challenges men to move beyond a simplistic “behaving vs. not behaving” mindset and instead engage their own stories with honesty, grief, and healing. Their conversation also examines the cycle of violence—how Absalom’s attempt to avenge Tamar only leads to further destruction. True healing requires humility, repentance, and a willingness to confront painful histories. This conversation is a call to courage: to name harm, seek healing, and embrace a sexuality that honors and protects rather than consumes and destroys. Please note that this episode contains discussions of sexual development and sexual abuse, including rape, and may not be suitable for all audiences. Listener discretion is advised. === Are you ready to step into a deeper journey of healing? Recovery Week is a transformative, holistic experience designed to create a safe, relational space where survivors of sexual abuse can process their stories with care and courage. Here, you’ll be invited to engage the deep impact of your past while discovering a path toward restoration, connection, and self-compassion. Applications are now open for our Summer 2025 Recovery Weeks.  Take the next step toward healing. Visit theallendercenter.org/recovery-week to learn more.

    53 min

  2. MAR 28

    Food, Sex, and Shame, Part 2

    In part two of this conversation, Dan and Rachael continue their exploration by addressing the profound link between shame, food, and sex.  Shame is often leveraged by evil around our core needs for nourishment and intimacy to isolate and create deeper wounds, making it difficult to engage these areas with openness.   Dan emphasizes, "Knowing your story’s vulnerability to how you have been harmed, but also how you've used food and sex," is crucial. Rather than allowing shame to silence or control us, Dan and Rachael encourage listeners to confront it with boldness. While shame may never fully disappear, we can engage it—not with harshness or self-destruction, but with a fierce kindness and courageous defiance. Rachael shares: “The Spirit is often inviting me in the disruption of shame, not to power up and go toward fight, flight or freeze as a way to disrupt shame, but to move toward tenderness, to move toward grief, to move toward a kind of righteous anger that leads to a ‘hell no.’”  Ultimately, the work of dismantling shame happens within a community of care. Dan reminds us that true healing takes place in a "playground of kindness"—a space where we are seen, known, and deeply loved. Please note that this episode contains discussions of sexual development, sex, body image, and disordered eating, and may not be suitable for all audiences. Listener discretion is advised.

    40 min

  3. MAR 21

    Food, Sex, and Shame, Part 1

    Both food and sex are vital for sustaining life yet are often fraught with complex emotions and struggles. In the first of a two-part conversation, Dan and Rachael invite you to explore these deeply personal topics with curiosity and compassion. While we've previously discussed shame, food, and sex as separate issues, today we’re diving into their powerful connection—and why it matters. Both food and sex are not just about survival; they can also offer comfort, pleasure, and a sense of belonging. From our earliest moments in the womb, these embodied experiences shape our understanding of safety, love, and connection. Yet, many of us know all too well the tension that surrounds them. Cultural messages, systemic oppression, and personal trauma can leave us feeling overwhelmed or disconnected from these vital parts of our humanity. Our hope is that this conversation reminds you: your relationship with food and sexuality is part of your broader story—a journey toward healing and wholeness. As you listen, we invite you to reflect on your own experiences with tenderness and grace, knowing that you are not alone in these struggles. Please note that this episode contains discussions of sexual development, sex, body image, and disordered eating, and may not be suitable for all audiences. Listener discretion is advised.

    39 min

  4. MAR 14

    Honoring Origin Stories with Pastor James A. White

    We’re thrilled to welcome back Pastor James A. White, who challenges us to think deeply about the stories we’ve been told — and the ones we haven’t. Who decides which stories get remembered and which are forgotten? How has a Western lens shaped our understanding of the gospel? And what can happen when we truly honor the origin stories of everyone — individual cultures, histories, and experiences? Pastor White believes that our past holds the key to both understanding the present and shaping a better future. In a world where truth is often distorted or silenced, he calls us to reclaim the power of storytelling — to listen well, read with intention, and resist narratives that erase or exclude. Drawing from the story of Jesus and the Samaritan woman, Pastor White highlights how Jesus intentionally crossed cultural divides to connect with and honor another’s story — a powerful example of wisdom, humility, and compassion. The conversation calls for greater humility and curiosity in how we engage with others' stories, especially those shaped by trauma, resistance, and survival, while acknowledging the ways history and power influence how stories are told and remembered.

    54 min

  5. MAR 7

    Confronting Christian Nationalism - Part 2 with Rev. Dr. David Rice

    We’re continuing our conversation with Rev. Dr. David Rice about confronting Christian nationalism—a topic we’re diving into because of the ways that it can deeply affect our faith, our communities, and how we engage with one another in this shifting cultural and political landscape. In our last episode, David shared his personal story—how his upbringing, ministry experiences, and cultural shifts shaped his understanding of faith and politics. We explored the unique challenges pastors face in addressing these issues from the pulpit and the tension of being accused of getting "too political" when speaking out about national concerns. If you haven’t had a chance to listen yet, we encourage you to go back and catch up on that conversation first. In this episode, we’ll dig deeper into: What Christian nationalism is and why it’s a critical issue for people of faith, Our collective longing for control—something humanity has wrestled with since the very beginning—and how this longing fuels Christian nationalism, And how we can thoughtfully engage with our friends, neighbors, and fellow believers in conversations about these challenging issues. We hope our conversation with David sparks some new thoughts or insights into how power is being used, where our faith fits into these conversations, and how we can move forward in meaningful, compassionate ways. About Our Guest: Rev. Dr. David Rice is BJC’s digital strategist, leading online engagement for the organization and its Christians Against Christian Nationalism campaign. BJC is a nonprofit 501(c)(3) organization that brings people together to tackle today’s serious threats to religious liberty, including the targeting of religious minorities, the rise of Christian nationalism, and the politicization of houses of worship. Ordained in the American Baptist Churches USA, Rice joined BJC’s staff in 2024 after previously serving in rural parish ministry and starting his own communications consulting firm. Rice earned a Doctor of Ministry degree in missiology and organizational leadership from Western Theological Seminary and a Master of Divinity degree from the Seattle School of Theology and Psychology. His undergraduate degree is from Huntington University, where he studied youth ministry and Bible. Rice, who has lived on the West Coast and in the UK, now lives in Michigan with his family. He enjoys cycling, gardening, cross-country skiing, sourdough bread baking, traveling, and Arsenal football.

    45 min

  6. FEB 28

    Confronting Christian Nationalism - Part 1 with Rev. Dr. David Rice

    Christian nationalism is a growing issue in the U.S., raising important questions about the relationship between faith and politics.  How does our faith shape the way we engage with political issues? And are our political allegiances influencing our faith in ways we may not realize? While we’re certainly not a news or political network, this is a timely and necessary conversation. Power—both religious and political—can be used to bring about justice and healing, but it can also be wielded in ways that cause harm. In the first episode of a two-part conversation, we're joined by Rev. Dr. David Rice, an alumnus of The Seattle School and Digital Strategist for BJC, where he leads online engagement and the Christians Against Christian Nationalism campaign.  David begins by sharing his personal story—how his upbringing, ministry experiences, and cultural influences shaped his understanding of faith and politics. He also speaks to the challenges pastors and faith leaders face when addressing national issues from the pulpit, often being accused of being “too political.” We invite you to come back next week for part two of this conversation as David, Dan, and Rachael dive deeper—defining Christian nationalism, exploring our collective longing for control, and considering how we can engage with our communities in meaningful ways.

    47 min

  7. FEB 21

    Who Is Your Neighbor? with Dr. J. Derek McNeil

    In this episode, Rachael Clinton Chen welcomes back Dr. J. Derek McNeil, President and Provost of The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology, for a thoughtful conversation about navigating today’s fragmented world with hope, kindness, and connection. They explore how uncertainty, institutional distrust, and cultural polarization have left many feeling unmoored.  As people of faith, we are called to love God and our neighbors—but how do we do this in a world that feels so divided?  Regardless of religious, political, or personal identity, we all feel the effects of fragmentation. We are in search of a new story—a story that can hold us together. Dr. McNeil reflects on the deep need for community and the dangers of isolating in survival mode. Together, they discuss the challenge of living faithfully amid social, political, and relational fractures. If you’re grappling with feelings of disconnection or isolation, or if you’ve been wondering how to engage with others in a fractured world, tune in for a powerful conversation about finding hope, purpose, and co-creating a renewed sense of belonging.

    46 min

  8. FEB 14

    The Disruptive Power of Kindness

    Valentine’s Day is often wrapped in commercialized romance, but what if love is more than sentimentality? In this episode, Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen explore an aspect of love that we all need—kindness. But not the shallow, conflict-avoidant “niceness” we often mistake for kindness. Instead, they dive into the disruptive, provocative nature of true kindness—kindness that challenges, disrupts old patterns, and calls us into deeper growth. Kindness asks us to receive care and, sometimes, even risk disconnection for the sake of deeper intimacy. Together, Dan and Rachael unpack how true kindness is an act of restoration. They discuss the surprising, ennobling nature of kindness and how it reflects the heart of God—a love that offers goodness even when we least deserve it. So, as we navigate a day often filled with roses and greeting cards, let’s consider the kind of love that truly transforms—the kind that sees, knows, and calls us toward who we long to become.

    42 min
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About

The Allender Center Podcast features Dr. Dan Allender and his team engaging topics on healing and restoration through the unique intersection of theology and psychology. Through questions submitted by listeners, stories, interviews, and conversations, we engage the deep places of heartache and hope that are rarely addressed so candidly in our culture today. Join us to gain refreshing insight into understanding your story, handling relational struggles, recovering from trauma and abuse, and more. The mission of The Allender Center is to help people tell their stories with awareness and integrity, and to train them to listen to the stories of others with care, artistry, and skill so that they may foster redemption and healing in their lives. The Allender Center is a pioneering organization committed to boldly engaging the impact of trauma and abuse, providing healing and teaching to individuals, couples, and communities, and training professionals to listen and enter into stories in a way that facilitates transformation and hope. For information on all our programs and live events, visit theallendercenter.org

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